Careers are funny things if mine has been anything to go by. My career planning started as a small child dreaming of being a school teacher, lining up my toys for lessons each day in front of my small blackboard and making my long suffering younger and later school almost phobic cousin participate in pretend lessons during the school holidays – sorry! So, I did all the right things, work experience at my old primary school before heading off to do one of those new fangled B.Eds. Then came my first teaching practice...I HATED it! But I carried on regardless, got my degree and headed off to work in a related industry where I discovered publicity...I now know that was social marketing and Public Relations. I followed this path through a variety of roles for many happy years working long hours, enjoying myself trying to get the work life balance right when my young son asked why I couldn’t be at the school gate like other Mums and so on.
Then one day I realised I had really done enough and was no longer contributing as effectively as I used to...I hadn’t quite done a Campbell and become the story but I wasn’t doing my organisation any favours either. It took me quite a while to realise this and there was a lot of anger and heart searching on the way, a bit like going through bereavement only this time I was grieving for the person I used to be and could no longer be. It never ceases to amaze me now how much of my ‘identity’ was wrapped up in what I did each day, how much of ‘me’ was my career. I won’t bore you with the gory details of what went on and how I felt over a period of some 3 years suffice to say I can now look back with the wisdom of hindsight and wish there was a way of helping others who have reached this point but still don’t realise that.
It may be that some of these colleagues, friends - whomever - are facing a cross roads in their lives through age, health, boredom, fatigue; it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is the recognition of this point and how they eventually come to terms with it. I often remember the dreadful moment when a former boss of mine suffered a stroke in his mid forties and really struggled to come to terms with the fact that he would never return to his career as he knew it then. Very much younger than when many of us face this turning point he spent a long time in denial but eventually good sense prevailed and he realised he owed his family the respect of trying to slow down so he could enjoy more time with them rather than struggling on and shortening his life even further.
There are others who just don’t have that realisation and keep trying to return to their career, refusing to give in to whatever the circumstances might be – “I’m not going to be beaten” you hear them exclaim bravely – or is it selfishly? Let me explain my harsh statement...
The guy who has been overlooked in reorganisation after restructuring after service re-engineering becomes bitter and twisted by the perceived demotions. But he does nothing to move on either physically or mentally harms the working relationships with colleagues and former friends, puts undue pressure on his family as he slips into a black depression is no better than the people he sees as being to blame for his slide from favour. The woman whose ill health is not so bad to make the organisation pension her off but who can no longer do her job as well as she used to ends up taking advantage of her colleagues’ goodwill – while it lasts – and shortens her own life expectancy to the detriment of her loved ones is frankly, plain selfish. The leader who starts to run out of steam and coasts towards retirement avoiding innovation and change brings down their organisation or team leaving them behind the competition and ruining young careers on the way through.
These examples and many others are symptomatic of the way we fail to manage our workforce as it ages and matures. Organisations do not think about ways to make it easier for people to downshift without losing face. If we took a more constructive approach, we could help people ease into a new identity without killing them or embittering them – or their colleagues. We should allow them to support the upcoming generation of leaders and pioneers as we teach respect for the work life balance.
I can recall being enraged I was not being given the chance of the next big job even though I knew my sell by date had been reached some months earlier and my best before was fast approaching! I still had a lot to offer but not at the pace I had to work at up until then, my brain could no longer cope and that in turn caused my emotions to overrule my rational behaviour. I was irritable with my family, OK – more irritable with my family! I became paranoid with colleagues. I retreated into myself. Then I realised that status was not the be all and end all of my life that I could ask to change my lifestyle and downshift. OK financially I was in a position to pay off the mortgage so whatever happened the roof would remain over our heads but once recognised I could still be a whole person without THAT career I found a new spring in my step, my confidence returned, I became the old me – and I was comfortable with it.
So chaps – if you are feeling jaded, if you’ve had spells of ill health, if you are pissed off... stop – for all our sakes!
